Last Tuesday, I had yet another surgery. This time, it was another kidney surgery. So many of us that deal with connective tissue diseases or, like me, Lupus and many more- we have a lot of hospital visits and surgeries. I’ve become numb to the fact that surgeries could be dangerous.
Our diseases attack our organs when we get sick, when we are exposed to others that are sick. Our illnesses do not express itself as a simple runny nose. So, we suffer internally- our bodies fight against itself.
From kidney surgeries to a fusion foot, I’ve had many, many surgeries. Now, it’s to the point that I don’t even ask questions about the surgeries. I know, scary right? I don’t ask questions, I don’t ask about the procedure — know why? I don’t want to know the consequences of what they are doing —- the pain afterwards, the extent of recovery. I just personally would rather not know.
But, people are asking me, “Are you afraid?”
No.
What are they doing to you?
I don’t know.
People that haven’t had surgeries before, I can understand that they may be afraid and worried about surgery. I totally understand that. But, I’ve become numb to it.
When I hear surgery, I think about the possibility of no pain in the future. I think of the ability to finally be able to do something that I haven’t been able to do – like urinate. I think of relief. That’s as far as I allow myself to go.
But, am I afraid? No.
I’m not afraid of letting someone else control my destiny for a bit. I’m not afraid of not waking up, because I’ve ensured that I have a great team of doctors. I essentially put my life in their hands, almost on a daily basis – literally. They got my back.
When you have a lot of health issues, you have a list of physicians. Mine, I have a rheumatologist, nephrologist, urologist, endocrinologist, psychiatrist, cardiologist and a family doctor. These doctors work together to treat all my health needs.
Are you afraid of surgery? Tell me your thoughts.
Invisible Fighter 